Happy Holidays from Denmark

Hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas!

Best wishes for 2008!

R & K

(Or as the Danes say:)

Chav Nativity Scene

The American Flag

I was watching Black Hawk Down on TV for a little while last night and I noticed that the American flag on the soldiers' uniforms was seemingly facing the wrong direction. Today, K did some quick research and found out why. It's a bit silly, I suppose, but it makes sense:

Question: Why is the American Flag patch worn "backwards" on the shoulders of members of the U.S. Military?

Answer: A United States Flag patch always has the union of the flag (the blue field with stars) to the viewer's left.

This works well when looking at the left side of the vehicle or person, but when looking at the right side it appears the flag is flying backward when the vehicle or person is in motion. The flag would appear to be "in retreat" as the vehicle or person moves forward.To alleviate this problem, the International Civil Aviation Organization decreed that flags painted on aircraft must face the direction of the flight so that it's aerodynamically and aesthetically correct. For consistency, the Flag Foundation recommends that flags or flag decals on vehicles, as well as flag patches on uniforms, should be displayed in the same manner.

Therefore, the American Flag patch on the left sleeve of a Military uniform should have the union to the viewer's left. A flag patch on the right sleeve should be displayed with the union to the viewer's right. In both cases the flag is facing forward and is streaming to the back as the person moves forward.

[from Yahoo! Answers]

Rick Faye Seminar

I went to a seminar at my martial arts place tonight. Rick Faye, the guy who started the Minnesota Kali Group, came over here to do a 3-hour evening seminar in Jeet Kune Do. There were about 25 people there and we covered a lot of ground in those 3 hours. It was a bit overwhelming actually. Rick Faye is amazingly adept at this type of martial arts. And he should be since he's 2-degrees separation from Bruce Lee! The instructor at the gym was getting flung around the same we he flings us around. Amazing!

The Sad Thing About America

On the bus home this evening, I was listening to some songs on my iPod (bless that little thing!) and one of them just resonated amazingly with me. Rufus Wainwright's "Going To A Town". It really captures the sentiment of sadness I feel with regard to America. The core ideals of the US are so beautiful, pure and awe-inspiring, but I feel like those ideals are being consistently stripped away. And that's what makes me sad. It can be such a great nation. It's getting ruined by so many things. The Bush Administration, lawyers, pharmaceutical companies, the war in Iraq, rampant capitalism, ignorance, horgging resources, too many guns, and a docile citizen majority who just lay down and accept all this. And did you know there are people in New Orleans that are still homeless?

These are things we want to commit ourselves to changing, even if just a little.

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Going To A Town

I'm going to a town that has already been burned down
I'm going to a place that is already been disgraced
I'm gonna see some folks who have already been let down.
I'm so tired of America

I'm gonna make it up for all of the Sunday Times
I'm gonna make it up for all of the nursery rhymes
They never really seem to want to tell the truth
I'm so tired of you America

Making my own way home
Ain't gonna be alone
I got a life to lead, America
I got a life to lead

Tell me do you really think you go to hell for having loved?
Tell me and not for thinking every thing that you've done is good
(I really need to know)
After soaking the body of Jesus Christ in blood
I'm so tired of America
(I really need to know)

I may just never see you again or might as well
You took advantage of a world that loved you well

I'm going to a town that has already been burned down
I'm so tired of you, America
Making my own way home
Ain't gonna be alone
I got a life to lead, America

I got a life to lead
I got a soul to feed
I got a dream to heed
And that's all I need
Making my own way home
Ain't gonna be alone

I'm going to a town that has already been burned down

A Brief Time-Out to Catch Up

We tend to lead a fairly quiet life without a lot of overtly social activities, but once in a while a week comes along that ends up being jam-packed with social engagements.

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Last Sunday, I went to play "Airsoft" at Ground Zero with some people from work. This is a boys-and-their-toys type of activity involving war games with replica fire-arms that shoot plastic BBs at a high velocity and rate. It's a bit like paintball without the paint and with realistic weapons. We all got into it with gusto, climbing around amongst the bushes and trees. Even though the weather was absolutely miserable that day, cold and pissing down rain the entire time, we enjoyed it immensely. The guy who organised the get-together is already working on another one. We didn't really have a chance to take pictures what with the BBs flying past and the inclement weather, but here's a picture of me the day before, testing out my "fatigues":



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Then on Wednesday, we were invited to a presentation given by a surgeon who went on an expedition to the North Pole (the true North Pole, not the magnetic one). He had come to the Arts Institute in January this year for advise on how to use an HD video camera in general and in arctic conditions. He's a friend of the school principal. The principal put him in touch with me. I advised him on what kind of shots to get and what he needed to do to keep the camera from seizing up and the batteries from dying quickly in the cold. He would be travelling with a Norwegian documentary crew, but wanted to bring his own camera to get additional footage. It transpired that the Norwegian crew hardly got any footage because their cameras seized up, so his footage was practically the only existing from the expedition. He was very grateful for this and gave me an entire case of Chilean wine as thanks. Well, he was also very effusive in his presentation at the Royal Motor Yacht Club in Sandbanks which we attended. Afterwards, there were a few people who came up to congratulate me and were perplexed about how I could have outdone the seasoned Norwegian crew. All I did was a little research on the internet about shooting in extreme cold and mixed that with my camera experience. He's the one who actually shot it!



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On Thursday evening we went to see the Kaiser Chiefs at the Bournemouth International Centre. Again, this was with a couple of people from the Arts Institute. K and I hadn't been to a concert in quite some time. They played a great set. This is one of those bands that's great to see live because they put on a good, energetic show.

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Friday night, my dad arrived from Denmark again to teach another of his Chiropractic seminars on Saturday. We went to dinner with him at Taj Mahal, our favorite Indian restaurant in Westbourne, on Saturday night. This morning we had homemade Liege waffles for breakfast and spent a few hours working at a laptop, each of us. He left on a National Express bus for Heathrow a while ago.

Laundry Mountain -- Part 2

Today, we finally got our new washing machine installed. It's been almost a month since the other one died on us. Once again, it took a lot of calls and a lot of patience. The laundry mountain would have been even bigger than this if it wasn't for the opportunity we had a couple of weeks ago (babysitting a downstairs neighbor's birds for a few days) which allowed us to do a few loads of laundry. It's a good thing the new machine got installed today because I'm currently wearing my last pair of underwear!

The repairman pointed out something interesting. There had been this sort of rotten milk smell out of nowhere once in a while in the kitchen. We looked everywhere but found nothing. Today we found out what it was. The people who had installed the washing machine and dishwasher originally had done such a piss-poor job of it that the two machines' outflow hoses were giving each other "feedback", as it were. In other words, dirty dishwashing water would sometimes flow into the washing machine hose and vice versa. The rotten food smell was the dishwashing water rotting in the washing machine hose. Nice, huh?

The Bobbies Came Round

The police just came to our apartment.

I had just gotten home and locked my bike in the garage. As I was walking around to the front doors of the apartment building, a police car drove in. They went past me and turned around in the parking lot. I was walking up the stairs and saw them park out front, get out, and approach the building. I wondered "Who are they going to see in this building?" When I was almost at my landing, I heard a door buzzer go off. Sounded like one of the neighbors, but when I walked in the front door, K was on the buzzer-phone. She buzzed them in and said it's the police, but they said there's nothing to worry about. We were mighty curious what this was going to be about. K asked if they had caught me riding my bike without a headlight. Nope, because I put some new batteries in it this time.

One of the police officers stayed outside and the female office came inside. She said that a car was found abandoned and vandalised in London. It had a VIN number that is registered to this address. Interesting... I just came from the parking lot and I definitely saw my car there. They asked if they could go down to verify the VIN number, so we did.

She asked me a few questions about where I work, how long we've been here, where has the car been, have you ever been in London with this car, etc. Then she called in the VIN number and we waited around for a few minutes for a reply. Obviously, something is fishy here. The male officer said if our car is a "ringer", then they will have to impound it. I said, "Oh, well that's not too bad because we want to sell it at some point anyway."

The VIN number on the car in London was pulled from the engine block. She got a reply back from the VIN number people that said our car was OK. It's the one in London that is the fake. Strange thing is, the car in London was also a gray 520i BMW.

They thanked us for our help and left. I wonder if this is the last we'll hear of this...

Uncle John

John Bohlken
April 26, 1928 — Oct. 19, 2007

John Bohlken, 79, of Lebanon died Friday at Samaritan Lebanon Community Hospital.

He was born in Lebanon to Henry E. and Velma (Buchner) Bohlken. He was raised in Lebanon and graduated from Lebanon High School in 1946. John farmed with his father for many years.

He married Max E. Benham on Dec. 4, 1970, in Silverton. Together they owned and operated the Broiler Restaurant in Lebanon until selling it in 1976. They also worked together in his cabinet business, Bohlken Woodworking, both in Sisters and Lebanon until retiring in 1992.

During retirement, they enjoyed road trips and daily travels in the country. They also enjoyed storm watching at the coast, watching kite flying, and watching the wind surfers at Hood River.

John was a lifetime member of the Elks Lodge, where he was a past grand exalted ruler. He also belonged to the American Legion.

He is survived by daughters Shelley Bohlken of Eugene, and LaLona McCready and husband David of Lebanon; son Lonnie Benham and wife Jackie of Springfield; sisters Kathryn Robertson of Lebanon and Marceil Drechsler of Eugene; grandchildren Andrew, Aaron and Arica McCready, Tiffany Williams and Garrow Benham; and two great-grandchildren.

John was preceded in death by wife Max E. Bohlken on Aug. 23, 2003, and son Mike Bohlken in 1994.

A memorial service will be at 11 a.m. Friday at Huston-Jost Funeral Home. Private burial will be at the Lebanon IOOF Cemetery.

Online condolences for the family can be left at www.hustonjost.com.

Contributions may be made to the Elks Scholarship Fund in care of Huston-Jost Funeral Home, 86 W. Grant St., Lebanon, OR 97355.

The Laundry Mountain lives!

After many calls to the property management company, a repairman came out today to measure the space for a new washer (the landlord decided to replace it instead of having it repaired again). He said "If everyone involved works quickly, you could have the new washer by a week from Friday."

Wow, that fast, eh?

Wish List

We sort of coast along for a while, sticking to a routine. We know we're not going to live in England for the rest of our lives, which does offer us a higher level of stamina for the things that bother us here. But once in a while, a proverbial piece of straw lands on the camel's back and we go on a massive rant. I haven't been on one in quite some time, though I must say I'm beyond fed up with the phlegmy cough I've had since mid-August (probably due to the copious amount of mold spores flying around in the air here). The nutritional healing book we have says that if you live in a cold, damp environment (ahem... England), you may need to move. No kidding.

Anyway, one of those pieces of straw landed on K's camel this evening. You see, it looks like the high-speed spin cycle capabilities of our washer has once again failed. As you know, this was not working when we moved into this apartment in February and it took over a month for the feeble efforts of the management company to have it fixed. A period of time that many of our British friends told us was "normal". Now a little less than 7 months later, it seems to be broken again. K just hauled out a sopping wet load of laundry that she had tried to spin dry several times since lunch today. This launched her into an uncharacteristic extended rant that even I am impressed by. I urged her to write a blog entry about it, but she didn't want to because she has already written about this very thing before. However, her rant inspired me to sit down at the dusty, old keyboard for a cathartic release in the form of...


A WISH LIST
To Live in a place where:

*it is normal to have a washer and a TUMBLE DRYER, preferably in a LAUNDRY ROOM -- not in the kitchen. And therefore, a place where one does not have to hang up damp clothing in the living room next to the couch every single day of the year. Or iron your bedsheets before you put them on the bed because they're crunchy from not getting tumble dried. The washing machine is something K uses every single day because only 3 or 4 things fit in it at one time. It is actually a good thing that the washer is so fricking small because the drying rack will only hold so many pairs of pants.

*you wouldn't be surprised to find a telephone socket in MORE THAN ONE room in a house or apartment (not just in the kitchen). And therefore, you do not have to run extension cables all over the damn place so you can put your wireless router in a good spot.

*there is a TV jack in MORE THAN ONE room so that you have more options for where you put your television.

*the plumbing and heating pipes are not externally mounted to the walls inside the house.

*there aren't pipes sticking out of the outside wall. Ours is currently dripping for some strange reason, even when our heating isn't on. This prompted one of the old farts from downstairs to ring our doorbell at 9:10 this morning (getting us out of bed on a Saturday when he's probably been up since 5 am!) to tell us about it. He said we need to take care of it so the wall "does not get wet". God forbid the exterior of the building would get wet! Is it ever not wet anyway? Not sure what he would suggest we do when it rains.

*you don't have to call a company six or seven times to get them to do what they need to do (for example, getting a contractor to come out and fix the washer).

*it isn't 90-95% humidity ALL THE TIME. People shouldn't live in this kind of environment! And it sure as hell doesn't help when you have to drape wet clothes all over the place.

*it's not "normal" for the north wall of a building to cultivate mold on the inside walls.

*the garages are big enough to fit a normal size car into and also big enough that once you park the car, you can actually get out of it even if you aren't a spider monkey.

*where you aren't being watched all the time by a building full of persnickety old pensioners who want to make sure you're not breaking a rule (such as parking outside, feeding the squirrels, or hanging laundry on the balcony).

*a kitchen has an extractor fan that is more than just decorative and actually blows the air OUTSIDE the building. Every apartment we've lived in has had an extractor fan that sucks the smoke, etc. through a "filter" and then blows it back in the kitchen! Useless! Absolutely useless!

*the postal service does not go on strike over pay disputes for the 100th time in the past few months.

*you don't have to turn on the central heating in order to get hot water for a shower.

*the water pressure is more than a vapid drip which even has trouble falling downwards with gravity.

*people don't park on an already-very-narrow-road, forcing traffic to go into the oncoming lane in order to continue.

*it is not virtually impossible to fire someone who turns up late all the time and is not pulling their weight in the job.

*it's not a normal occurrence to step over a pile of vomit on the sidewalk (that's right sidewalk, not "pavement") because the entire population seems to view getting drunk as a hobby.

*you can get more than 2 or 3 ice cubes in a drink. Well, actually, you would consider yourself lucky to get 2 or 3 ice cubes in a drink.

*people actually take a little pride in their work.

*there aren't CCTV or speed cameras EVERYWHERE.

*it's not so normal to get such poor workmanship in construction, interior finishings, and food preparation. It's sad when K's favorite restaurant is Subway.

*cracks appearing in every wall in your apartment while you are away on holiday is not met with any more than a shrug and a comment about "didn't you leave a window open?"

PS - We are very aware that there are millions of people in the world who live in much worse conditions than this (and that's definitely understating it), but in our egocentric American way, we have higher expectations for an advanced society in the Western world. And we're also very aware that we are incredibly gauche for complaining so much about a country to which we are merely guests and from which we will both take away advanced degrees and some excellent work experience. We also want to say that we have had the good fortune to meet several Brits who do work hard, don't get drunk all the time and may be be offended by this. Well, sorry, we're tired of holding our tongue and trying to think positively.

Rest In Peace, Little Friend

Jessie lived to the venerable, old age of 15. She was the best family dog you could ever wish for: tolerant, energetic, quirky, brave, cozy, funny, hungry, stubborn, playful, loving, and loyal.

Born on a farm in Denmark around the time of Hurricane Andrew (1992). We plucked her from a litter of several other mutts. The mother was a long-haired dachshund and, we believe, her father was a Jack Russell. I picked her because she had a white stripe on her chest and because she was the liveliest one. A sure sign that she had a big personality. I wasn't wrong about that. We flew her back to the US, at first in a duffel bag my sister and I held in our lap during the flight. And then in a carrier after we landed in New York and they would not allow us to board with the duffel bag. When we put her in the carrier, she barked a high pitch puppy bark continuously until we could take her out and hold her in our laps again.

Our German Shepherd, Prince, took her in immediately. He watched over her and tended to her. At least until she got old enough to show that she was the boss. They were quite a pair. She outlived him by about 3 years.

She lived a full life (as full as any family pet can). Kept us entertained. Comforted us when we felt low. She loved to take a nap, nestled alongside you. She had an insatiable desire to swim in the pool. She was really good at begging for table scraps. She loved peanut butter.

We love you, Jessie.

Light Pollution

Pull The Plug - Moveon.org Petition

British -> American Dictionary

A friend of mine forwarded this link to a British English - American English dictionary.  It is the most complete I have ever seen.

English2American

Not Fair, America

We are NOT facing failure in Iraq, ministers tell U.S.

Ministers went on the defensive yesterday over U.S. claims that the British effort in Iraq is on the verge of failure.

The Defence and Foreign Secretaries took the unusual step of joining forces to counter allegations in Washington that Britain's resolve in southern Iraq is weakening and that a withdrawal is imminent.

It came as President George Bush made it clear he wants Gordon Brown to keep British troops there because there is still "more work to do".

[...]

The growing U.S. attacks on its biggest and most loyal partner in the coalition have clearly rattled Downing Street, and the intervention of two senior ministers was seen as a sign of Government anxiety that relations with Washington are being undermined by U.S. carping.

That criticism has grown in recent weeks with the revelation that British troops would soon pull back from their Basra Palace HQ to the last remaining base near the airport on the outskirts of the city.

In the Post piece, Mr Browne and Mr Miliband argued: 'We pledged to help Iraqis develop a functioning state, with armed police and other institutionscapable of delivering securityfor the people.

"We also promised that, when we had done that, we would promptly hand over full responsibility for security to the legitimate, elected Iraqi authorities."

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As much as K and I love to criticize the country that we are currently living in, I do think this recent attack by the US government is not fair. And it certainly is not a good way to behave with your allies, especially in a time when there are so many people criticizing the US for its foreign policy and pretty much everything it has perpetrated since 9/11. This is not going to win the US any new friends.

Picture this: The Top Dog, the most popular, strongest kid in the schoolyard (who also happens to be the richest) has been leading a life of comfort due to his relative invincibility. This kid is pretty well-liked by most of the other kids and has a few "minions" kowtowing to his rule even though they are older than he is. One day, a kid from another far-away school comes into the schoolyard. Nobody really notices him as he casually flits around amongst the other kids, but suddenly, he has kicked the Top Dog in the shin and punched him in the nose with all his might. The strongest kid gets knocked to the ground, unconscious, and the foreign kid runs off, no one able to stop him. When the Top Dog regains consciousness, his loyal followers are there to help him up and bring him to the school nurse who bandages his broken nose.

They make a plan to get revenge in the name of peace and civility in all schoolyards across the land. The plan gets underway with the help of all the kids loyal to the Top Dog; except for a few that think there is a better way. They never actually find the kid that did it, but they beat up a lot of other kids in the process (some of which were bad, too). As their campaign continues, more people start to doubt the merits of the struggle, particularly because they've sustained a lot of injuries and hurt a lot of kids who maybe didn't deserve it. Gradually, there are less kids in the Top Dog's gang, except for a couple of long-time friends.

The campaign continues, but then even the long-time friends start to voice their concerns and doubts. The Top Dog doesn't like this, so he starts pushing one of his friends around a bit, maybe poking him in the stomach or giving him a "dead-leg". Then he starts calling him names and saying that he was useless anyway; he couldn't even get the 6-year-olds in the city playground under control. Not wanting to seem like a cry-baby, this once-loyal friend starts to stand his ground (however passively). So the Top Dog does a lot of posturing and strutting around to show how powerful and just he is. Little does he realize that most of the other kids in the schoolyard have long-ago started to think he just looks stupid and just seems to be a big, ignorant bully.

Fortunately for him, he's still the strongest kid there and still relatively popular, but he really has to be careful because the other kids won't give him many more chances. And there are rumors that there are a couple other kids at other schools that might be stronger than him or more cunning. What will happen next has a lot to do with how this teenager chooses to behave from now on. Can he put his ego aside? Can he wise up and start listening to the advice of the older kids with more experience?

Gifts-a-plenty

K has returned to England, bearing goods from the New World.

Hmm... why did he change his tune in 2003?

My week at the GBBF

I'm back from a week of volunteering at CAMRA's Great British Beer Festival.  And, boy, are my feet sore!  Standing behind a bar from 12 to 10:30 every day can really take it's toll!  To let my feet decompress and heal, I'm going to spend the entire weekend barefoot and sitting on my ass/arse as much as possible.  Luckily, writing a blog entry requires sitting on one's ass, so here's a little story about my experiences during the festival.  ***WARNING - Many details relating to beer, which will be very boring if you aren't as interested in beer as I am.

Monday - I got up at 5am on Monday to get ready and catch a taxi to the bus stop  at Bournemouth University for the 6am Megabus to London.  Yeah, that's commitment to beer!  There's not too many things I'll get up at 5am for, but that's one of them!  It was a smooth journey and I was even able to sleep for at least half of it, which was nice for a change.  When I got to London, I had to then take the Tube to Earl's Court (where the festival is being held).  I arrived at about 9:45 and checked in with the Staffing Office.  They gave me a badge and a staff t-shirt and sent me down to the festival floor to help set up the CAMRA Brewery Shop (sells bric-a-brac and other merchandise related to beer).  There were a few too many people helping with this task.  Consequently, there was a fair amount of standing around twiddling thumbs.  I took a walk around the facility a couple of times to see if there was anyone else that needed help, but things seemed to be pretty much under control.  Around 6 o'clock, the "Volunteer Arms" (a makeshift "pub" offering free as-much-as-you-can-drink real ale to staff) opened and most people went up to the staff area to relax.  I had a couple of pints and chatted to a few of the volunteers, then I headed off to find my accommodation near Imperial College.  It was a place called Pembrige Gardens, a student accommodation for the Imperial College of London.  I was expecting to be in a dorm-style room with other people, but I actually had a single, which was nice.  However, the room was excruciatingly hot.  I actually had to put my hand on the radiator to see if it was on or something! (It wasn't).  I opened the window to try to get some airflow in there, but there didn't seem to be much.  I changed clothes and went to find dinner.  Ended up at a little deserted Italian restaurant nearby.  Went to bed quite early because I didn't have much else to do, but I didn't get a good night's sleep because it was so hot, even with no covers and only wearing underwear.  At one point I dragged the bed over to the window and I dampened a hand towel with water and draped it over my head.  That seemed to help with the heat, but then I kept getting woken up by traffic, people walking by outside, and other guests arriving loudly.

Tuesday - Bought an iced Caramel Macchiato (sp?) at Starbucks before I got on the bus to Earl's Court.  Had breakfast at the staff canteen (they provide free breakfast for the volunteers who are staying in the accommodations).  When I checked in at the Staffing Office, they asked me where I would like to work.  I asked to be put behind one of the bars, whichever one needs people.  They assigned me to "Family Brewers".  The GBBF is divided into about 24 different "bars", mostly by brewing regions, but there were also a couple of sections like "Bar Viscount" (offering organic, gluten free, and other beers like that), "Beers sans Frontiers" (beer from 30 countries including the US, Belgium, Germany, Czech Republic, and even Denmark and Sweden), and several of the bigger British breweries had their own bars.  The "Family Brewers" bar served beer from some of the British family-owned breweries: Adnams, Arkell's, Bateman, Elgood's, Everards, Harveys, Hydes, Lees, McMullen, Palmers, Robinson's, Timothy Taylor, Thwaites, and Wadworth.  There were a couple of hours before the festival would open, so I helped get things ready.  This bar had a bit of a problem because a couple of days before, one of the trucks that was transporting some of the beer was stolen (along with its contents). The affected breweries scrambled to replace them, but a few of the casks were not delivered until Tuesday.  Since real ale casks need time to settle before you can tap and serve them and because a few of the replacement casks were still too "young" to drink, this severely impacted the number of beers we could offer during the first couple of days of the festival.  The highly sought-after Timothy Taylor's Landlord was made available until Wednesday evening.  But we persevered.  The festival ran from 12pm to 10:30pm each day.  However, on Tuesday, the 12 to 5pm session was for trade and press only, which was a good warm up for the evening session when the general public poured briskly in through the doors.  Through the course of the evening, I tasted sizable samples of all of the beers we were offering at the time (one of the perks of working behind a bar).  You have to be careful with your level of inebriation because CAMRA does not use a token system for the beers.  They use cash, so you have to do a lot of calculations in your head (there's no register, just a cash box).  There are cheat sheets on the back of each of the beer pumps (detailing the cost of a 1/3, 1/2, and full pint, as well as 1 1/2 pints, 2 pints, 2 1/2 pints, etc.) which are helpful but when people order two or more differently priced beers, you have to keep a running total in your head.  It was a bit daunting at first, but I got used to it after a while and only made a couple of mistakes the entire week.  I worked the entire session through closing.  The bar managers asked me if I would like to stay on staff with them through the week.  I gladly accepted.  Then we had a couple of pints from the volunteer bar before boarding the courtesy buses taking us to our various accommodations.  Didn't get to bed until about 1:30, but luckily the room had cooled off a bit.

Wednesday - Asked to be assigned to the Family Brewers bar again.  The team working this bar has been working together on many festivals in the past and most of them were signed on as "permanent" staff, which means you don't have to go through the Staffing Office for your daily assignment.  These guys were really nice and down to earth.  I got along with them really well and one of the regulars took me under his wing and showing me the ropes.  By the end of the night, I was quite ingrained with the team.  At one point, a couple of the regulars asked me to go over to the American beers section with them to suggest something good to try.  We tried cask-conditioned versions of Smuttynose Smoked Porter, Three Floyds Romulus, and Victory Hopdevil (a fantastic beer!).  The bar was quite busy, but the day just flew by.  Every night, we stop serving at 10:30.  I mean literally stop serving.  As soon as the call is made over the loudspeakers, each bar takes the cash boxes around back and stops serving, even if there are still people waiting.  It's the law.  On a busy night, every body really looks forward to that moment.  Then we take 15-20 minutes to sit down around back as the customers are gradually ushered out the door.  While we were doing so, someone from the Beers sans Frontiers bar came around to ask for our help in finishing of some of the American beers on their bar because they needed to put some new ones in position.  Didn't have to ask me twice!  We rushed over there.  I had a pint of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale and some Three Floyds Romulus.  There were a couple others on other, but the small gathering of volunteers polished them off quickly.  It was good to taste some American brews with a more in-your-face flavor, as a lot of the British ales tend to be more subtle and balanced (nothing wrong with that, it's just nice to have something more zesty once in a while).  Slightly earlier to bed that night: 1am.

Thursday - Today was "Crazy Hat Day", which I didn't know about until this week so I didn't bring anything with me.  Everyone else in the team had a "crazy" hat.  All I had was my BeerAdvocate baseball cap.  Not wanting to be the odd one out, I rigged my BA hat with some plastic cable ties to which I taped a Timothy Taylor beer-coaster so that it would dangle in the air above my head and I taped some J.W. Lees coasters on the sides.  It looked a bit ridiculous but I think it was "crazy" enough.  I had planned to take the evening off from about 8 o'clock, but we were a bit short-staffed that day and it was a really busy night.  Reportedly, at one point the festival had over 4,000 people enter within an hour.  It was really hard work because the bar was about 30-40 feet long and during the busy periods, the people are lined up all along it several customers deep.  It becomes really difficult to track who should be served next and there's never really a good moment to go around back to take a break or even take a sip of your own beer.  But the busier it gets, the longer you're on your increasingly aching feet, the nicer those few pints at the end of the night taste.  It was great to kick back with these guys at the end of the night.  The tradition with this crew is to go up to the Volunteer Arms after all the chores are done, grab one of the big tables, fill up our glasses from the free bar, and sit around shooting the breeze while drinking fine ale and munching on snacks like the excellent pork scratchings (rinds) from the festival concessions.  The bar manager also kept a huge cookie tin amply stocked which we passed around during our "debriefing" sessions.  Because this day had been so hectic, I made sure to get quite a few beers in me before boarding the bus.  Chatted with the lady next to me about Belgian beer on the way.

Friday - My last day at the festival.  I checked in and worked behind the bar until 2pm.  Then I "clocked out" so I could enjoy the festival as a customer for a couple of hours before having to leave to catch the bus back to Bournemouth at 5.  Unfortunately for the guys left behind the bar, it was really busy and they were still short staffed.  By this point, I had gotten a bit tired of real ales (probably blasphemy for a CAMRA member), so I didn't drink too much.  Tried a few real ales, a perry (fermented pear juice), and bought a couple of bottles of beer from Mikkeller (a new Danish brewery that was highly recommended) to take home.  At about 4 o'clock I said my farewells and had my last 1/2 pint of beer (Dark Star Espresso Stout).  Took the Tube to Victoria Station and made it to the bus with only 8 minutes to spare.  I was able to sleep for about an hour this time as well.  Walked in our front door at about 7:45.  Good to be home!

Summary - Though I felt a little trepidation at first and was feeling a bit homesick (or something) on the first day, I quickly settled in and started having a good time.  I tasted a lot of beers and got 6 free brewery t-shirts out of the deal.  I'm really glad I did this and I think I was really fortunate to be assigned to this crew.  They urged me to come again next year and told me they would put me on permanent staff.  I told them I would definitely like to do it again.  As tumultuous as K's and my life can be (in terms of where we live and what we're doing for a living), it's hard to see ahead a year from now, but I'd really like to go back next year at least.  The festival runs from a Tuesday to a Saturday with set-up and take-down from previous Saturday to the following Monday.  That's a long time to set aside for volunteering.  I didn't stay for the closing day of the festival because I wanted to have a weekend to relax before going back to work.  This means I will miss the highly-rated staff party (on Saturday after the festival closes early at 7pm and all the clean-up is done), but I'll likely schedule things differently next year so I can attend.  Maybe work Thursday through Sunday.  Or maybe do the entire stint.  We'll see!

Beers Tasted at the GBBF 2007

(mostly 1/2 pints, favorites in bold)

Adnams Bitter

Arkell's Moonlight

Arkell's Kingsdown Ale

Bateman XB

Bateman Valiant

Elgood's Black Dog

Elgood's Cambridge Bitter

Everards Sunchaser

Everards Tiger Best Bitter

Harveys Sussex XX Mild Ale

Harveys Olympia

Hydes Summertime Blue

Lees Bitter

Lees Moonraker

McMullen Cask Ale

McMullen Midsummer Madness

Palmers Dorset Gold

Palmers Tally Ho

Robinson's Oldham Bitter

Robinson's Unicorn Best Bitter

Timothy Taylor Landlord

Timothy Taylor Golden Best

Thwaites Dark Mild

Thwaites Double Century

Wadworth Bishop's Tipple

Wadworth Horizon

St Peter's Grapefruit Beer

Traditional Scottish Ales Glencoe Wild Oats Stout

Caledonian Deuchars IPA

Caledonian Rebus20

Caledonian XPA

Gales Festival Mild

Dorset Brewing Company's Chesil

Thornbridge Jaipur IPA

Cairngorm Black Gold (not in good condition, a bit sour)

Dark Star Espresso Stout

O'Hanlon's Port Stout

Victory Hop Devil

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

Smuttynose Smoked Porter

Three Floyds Romulus

Troggi Blended Perry

And 5 or 6 others I didn't keep track of from Volunteer Arms

Beervana

Tomorrow morning at 6am I'm getting on a bus to London where I will be spending the week volunteering at the Great British Beer Festival.  Hopefully, I'll be dispensing beer and possibly selling glasses.  That's what I requested on the staffing form.  Just don't want to be a "steward" or a bouncer.  If they stitch me up with that I probably won't stay all week.  Perhaps a bad attitude to have, but I'm giving up hard-earned vacation time to volunteer there so I should be able to do something I will enjoy, I think!  The organization takes care of room and board for the duration of the festival.  I'll be living in a hostel or something like that, "roughing it".  The best thing is that I get to try a bunch of different beers for free or at a discounted cost.  Should be fun.

K is in Oregon right now visiting family and looking into a little business idea we have been considering.  More about that later if we go ahead with it.

In other news, my promotion is official.  The new job title kicked in on August 1st.  I just signed the contract the other day.  A nice pay rise and an additional 10 days of paid holiday.  It's not going to be an easy job, but I think I'm going to enjoy it (at least most of the time).

Successes

Good news...

* K was successful in her PhD "viva" and her "transfer document" was accepted with flying colors and glowing reviews.  So that's pretty much it for university-levied deadlines.  Now she just has to finish writing the dissertation (approximately another 60,000-70,000 words).

* I had my promotion interview on Thursday.  It went quite well and the next day, I was told that it's official.  I got the promotion.  It will probably start on August 1st (when the new academic year begins).

Level 1 - Kali

I now hold a certificate of Level 1 proficiency in Kali/Panantukan. I had convinced myself that I most surely had failed (too many mistakes), but I ended up with a 70%, which is the minimum passing grade. It was perhaps a bit too soon for me to take the test. The instructor said that you can learn the Level 1 curriculum in about 3 months. I've been taking Kali for 9 months, but I only started really looking at the Level 1 curriculum during the preceding 3 weeks. Anyway, though I'm not sure I really deserved it, I passed!

Waffles'n'Kali

*Got back a little while ago from the Kali grading session. There were five of us being graded and I think everyone did pretty well. He didn't announce any pass/fails yet because the scores still have to be compiled. It will probably be announced to the class next Saturday, though he said he wouldn't announce a fail to the class, but tell you in private. I think I passed. It's hard to say because I don't know how much they mark down for mistakes and I definitely made several. I generally felt a bit unsure of myself, but hopefully that wasn't visible. We'll see!

*Now... THE WAFFLES! They were a 95% success.


These are Liège Waffles. There are two types of "Belgian Waffle": Liège and Brussels Waffle. Generally, when people in the US say "I just had the best Belgian waffle", they're talking about the Brussels Waffle: rectangular, golden brown, crispy on the outside, fluffy on the inside, served with a topping like strawberries and whipped cream. The Liège Waffle is a different animal entirely. It has a more bready texture, studded with bits of perl sugar, and a luscious outer crust formed by the caramelization of the dough. It needs no topping and is usually served warm in a folded piece of wax paper. Ooh la la!

The recipe we tried for this first batch made twelve 4"x4" waffles. We are quite thrilled with how they came out. They're not too far off from the kind you'd get in Belgium. Next time we try it, we will have to use more vanilla and definitely have to find some perl sugar. I spent about 30 minutes chopping sugar cubes and ended up with a blister on my index finger (from the knife blade) and a pile of quite large chunks in a heap of sugar granules. The recipe we used called for leaving the dough out overnight, which was sort of interesting. It seems like this is probably the correct way of doing it; to let the yeast do its thing properly and perhaps allow for a little fermentation and flavor development. The recipe:

• 1 lb. (500g) plain flour
• 7g instant dried yeast (one sachet)
• 2 medium eggs
• 1 cup Whole Milk
• ½ lb. (250g) Butter
• 2 oz. (60g) honey
• Vanilla
• 10 oz (300g) pearl sugar (or loaf sugar, broken into small, 1/8'' 3mm chunks)

Mix flour and yeast in a large bowl; beat in eggs one-by-one. Then add milk and honey gradually, beating all the while, to make a thick batter or moist dough. Melt butter and add gradually to the batter, beating all the while. Cover with cling film and leave overnight at room temperature.

The batter dough should have risen and be full of bubbles when you rise on Sunday.

Pearl sugar or loaf sugar may a little tricky to find. You can use sugar lumps, but they are a little too hard and too large. What I have found works best it to put granulated sugar into a clean frying pan or baking tray and add enough water to dampen the sugar. Then, on a low heat, dry out the sugar again, so that it forms a solid crust. Get the sugar out of the pan (by banging!), and then beat the sugar with a rolling pin to break it into small lumps (about half the size of a US sugar lump).

Mix the sugar lumps and vanilla essence into the dough and let it stand in a warm place for 15-30 minutes.

Heat the waffle iron; brush lightly with butter or oil. Ladle batter into iron (leave room for the batter to expand) and close. The waffles should be dark brown when they come out of the iron, not golden brown. The sugar melts out and caramelizes, so be careful taking the waffles out—the caramel will stick to your skin and burn you if you touch it.

[source: http://www.aopy00.dsl.pipex.com/recipes/liege_waffles.shtml]

There's another recipe we will try next time: Liège Waffles

Update

*My promotion is still not finalized. I've been told that this is a mere formality, BUT... they have to officially advertise the job (which they just did two days ago) and I have to apply for it. And be interviewed. Why they aren't allowed to just promote someone internally, I have no idea. However, I'm fairly sure the job is mine for the taking. Either way, I'm ready to compete for it. Bring it on!

*As of 6am tomorrow morning, the UK will be "smoke free". Well, as far as smoking in public is concerned. We've been looking forward to this. There's a pub near us (The Porterhouse) which serves beer from Ringwood Brewery (one of my favorites over here). Unfortunately, the place is so smokey that we NEVER go in there. It's disgusting. But after the smoking ban, it will be accessible to us. K and I are going to go in there tomorrow to show our support by having a drink in their smoke-free environment. We fully support this ban and we don't even feel any sympathy for the smokers!

*I'm still going to the Minnesota Kali Group martial arts classes. In fact, for the summer, I've upgraded to the "Gold" membership so I can go to as many classes as I want. Generally, I go on Monday and Wednesday evening for two hours and on Saturday morning for two and a half hours. Tomorrow, Brendan (the owner/head instructor) is holding grading trials in Kali, JKD, and Thai kickboxing. I thought I'd give it a whirl by trying for the Level 1 Kali grade. So, tomorrow morning I'm going to see if I can swing the sticks well enough to pass the grading. Fingers crossed!

*We have been totally unaffected by the attempted car-bombings in London and Glasgow.

*K is almost finished with some last-minute changes to her "transfer document", a 10,000-word section of her PhD that she has to turn in to the school and which will then be read by a scrutiny panel. She then has to "defend" her PhD subject in a "Viva" on July 16th. Provided that they OK it, she just has to write another 70,000+ words to finish the PhD.

*On the 4th of July, I'm going up to the National Film Theatre in London because we are screening the students' grad films. Should be a nice day in the big city. The films are pretty good and I know the students a lot better than I did last year when I had just started the job.

*We just got a Cuisinart Professional Waffle Iron. The Belgian (Liege) Waffle we had in Dublin got is thinking about those luscious beauties we used to eat in Brussels. And, dammit, we want to be able to make them at home. We'll be testing a recipe tomorrow morning.

Monday Bloody Monday (a play-on-words on the title of a U2 song, a band from Ireland, a country from which we just returned)

We just got back a few hours ago from our 3-Year anniversary long-weekend trip to Dublin, Ireland. The weather was fantastic, though a bit warm, and we had a nice, relaxing time. Here's a quick sketch of the trip...

Flew out of Bournemouth Airport with Ryanair on Friday morning, an uneventful one-hour flight. We had a fairly quick transfer via shuttle-bus from the Dublin airport to our hotel on the outskirts of the city: The Crowne Plaza. Check-in was a snap, but our room wasn't ready yet (we got there around 11:30 in the morning) so we left our bags with the concierge and headed into the city. Since the hotel was on the outskirts of Dublin, we took a bus. The trip takes about 30 minutes and costs €1.60 each way per person.

The first order of business was to have lunch. K humored by agreeing to go to The Porterhouse, a brewpub in the Temple Bar area of Dublin. The food was pretty good and their beer was excellent. K had a cheeseburger and I had "Beef and Stout" (a type of stew). We stayed for about an hour, relaxing and listening to all the American tourists around us.

That's one of the first things we noticed about Dublin: there are A LOT of American tourists. I'm not sure if there are more than in London, for example, but it was becoming a challenge to find any Irish people! Our theory is that because it is a much smaller city than London, you have a higher concentration of American tourists than in London. therefore a higher chance of running into them. Speaking of America, Ireland (or just Dublin, at any rate) feels a lot more like the US than England does. We're not really sure why. I postulated a theory that there were perhaps a lot more Irish people settling the US than English people, but I have no idea if that's true or not. If anyone else has a theory, please do tell. Anyway...

After lunch, we meandered towards The Guinness Storehouse, the only tourist activity we had booked for in advance. This place is a giant visitor centre on the brewery property, though you don't get a tour through the actual brewery. With the number of tourists going there each day, I can understand why! It's basically a museum displaying the way Guinness is made. There are 8 floors, but most of the displays are on the first three floors. After that it's just sort of a cool building to walk through. When you get to the top, you can trade in a token for a fresh pint of Guinness. I'd really been looking forward to trying Guinness in Ireland because it has been said that it tastes much better in its home country than it does anywhere else. I found that to be quite true, actually. It was absolutely luscious -- and I drank K's pint to make sure! Much smoother and with a background sweetness that just is not present in the Guinness I've tried anywhere else. It's no wonder because the Guinness you buy in other countries is usually brewed locally (i.e.- most of it is not brewed in Ireland and shipped out). They just wouldn't be able to brew enough to do that.

With two yummy pints of Guinness in my belly, we wandered back through Dublin to O'Connell Street (the Champs Elysee of Ireland) to catch a bus back to the hotel. The bus we got on was quite crowded and we ended up sitting between five or six Irish youths. They were a bit rascally and boisterous. Very entertaining to listen to them carry on in their little Irish accents!

The next day, we got up around 9 and worked out in the hotel gym for an hour. Then had a huge buffet brunch in the restaurant. To choose from: scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, black pudding, white pudding, boiled new potatoes, baked tomatoes, mushrooms, various cereals, yogurt, fresh fruit, rolls, toast, pastries, various juices, coffee, tea, and from-scratch omelettes,
waffles, pancakes, or fried eggs. Needless to say, I was pretty stuffed by the time we left to head back into the city.

K had found a Viking & Medieval Dublin walking tour that we had decided to try on Saturday. It wasn't until 2:30, so we did a little more meandering around the city. Sat in St. Stephen's Park for a little while, then headed to the Dublin Tourist Centre to buy our tickets for the tour. There was about a half hour to kill and a pub just across the road. A perfect scenario for savoring another Guinness! Still didn't manage to convince K that it was luscious, though.

The walking tour sucked. No, really. It was boring as hell, the 60-70-year-old guide couldn't project her voice and seemed pained to tell us any of the history. And, judging by the tour alone, there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of Viking history in Dublin. I'm sure there is, but she just didn't seem to familiar with any of it. It was a two-hour tour and we stuck it out though both of us were contemplating ducking out when the guide was looking the other way.

After the tour, we ambled a little more and kept our eyes open for a place to have dinner. There are plenty of restaurants, but we were feeling quite choosy. In the end, we settled for a place called The Bad Ass Cafe ("Ass" is in "Donkey") with kitschy decor and a lively atmosphere. We each had a pizza and then headed back to the hotel by bus, again. No hooligans this time.

Back at the hotel, we were dismayed to find out that the air conditioner in our hotel room had not been fixed (it wasn't working and consequently we didn't sleep very good the first night) despite having told the front desk about it before leaving. I called reception and told them about it. The manager came up to our room and tried to fix it, but was unsuccessful, so he moved us to a different room. Since a room of the same calibre was not available (and to make up for the "inconvenience" of moving to a new room), he upgraded us to a suite on the "Club" Floor. He said the AC works and it's a nicer room. Come to find out, that was a bit of an understatement.

We had been upgraded to an executive suite with themed decor. It had a king-size bed, a spacious bathroom, two TVs, an office "nook", and a gorgeous view of the park. It was decorated in the style of a Ducati racing motorcycle (you have to see it to believe it). Very quirky! I called the manager right away and thanked him again. What luck! We spent the rest of the evening lounging in our complimentary robes, watching "rubbish" on the widescreen flat-panel TV.

The next day was a chill-out-at-the-hotel day. We had another big breakfast and then walked up the road a piece to check out the mall. It was a bit trite, so it took all of 15 minutes to walk through it. However, connected to it was a multiplex movie theatre. And Ocean's 13 was due to start in 20 minutes, so we bought tickets. The theatre was really nice. Comfy stadium seating and swanky decor. The movie theatres in Bournemouth don't have stadium seating, so it was really nice to watch a movie under the proper viewing conditions. And the movie was entertaining enough... brain candy. After that, we walked back to the hotel, cutting through the park. We (and be "we" I mean "I") had a Guinness at the hotel bar then we went back up to our swanky suite to relax a bit before dinner-time.

Unfortunately, we had an early wake-up call this morning, so we had to get to bed at a reasonable hour last night. Otherwise, we probably would have stayed up later to enjoy the cushy lifestyle we had become accustomed to in the Ducati suite. We had to take the 6am shuttle to the airport so there was no time for a buffet breakfast this morning (the restaurant opens at 6), but I was able to get in there to slap some pieces of bacon between two pieces of toast and then take it with me, almost making us miss the bus in the process.

Check-in was no problem but our plane was delayed, so we got home about an hour later than we should have. That's really the only hiccup and not much of a hiccup at that. All in all, we had a wonderfully relaxing weekend and we're really glad we did this. We didn't fall in love with Ireland though. Didn't get the same pull-at-your-heart-strings feeling we got in the Scottish Highlands. And it was completely different than we imagined, not least of which because of the uncharacteristic warm weather. However, it's not quite fair to write Ireland off based on its capitol city. The countryside and the smaller towns are probably very enchanting. It was so easy to get there, so you never know, we might make another trip over at some point. Hell, it would be worth it for the Guinness alone!




...MORE pictures from the trip...

Onward and Upwards

So, today is the 1-year "anniversary" of my time as a Technician Demonstrator. What would be a good way to mark the occasion?

How about getting promoted?

Well, that's how I ended up doing it. The details haven't really been ironed out yet, but as of next month (probably), I will be a Teacher Technician. Not quite sure what that means at the moment because it's not a common post here and there has never been one in the Film Production school. Basically, it's a hybrid of a lecturer and a technician. More responsibility, longer hours, higher pay, more holiday entitlement. Not to mention I'll get a lot of teaching experience.

So...

A couple of anniversaries coming up

This coming Tuesday, June 5th, will mark one year as a Technician Demonstrator at the Arts Institute. I cannot believe that a year has gone by already. It doesn't seem that long ago that I gave up my job in London to take on a more challenging job down here on the south coast of England. It has been a very fulfilling job so far. Quite often stressful, but always stimulating and rewarding. I've become really integrated in the department and have forged a good relationship with the students. Looking forward to seeing how the next academic year develops, but first, a busy summer of equipment maintenance, graduation ceremonies, and grad film shows at the NFT in London on July 4th, among other things.

The other anniversary is on the 10th, K's and my 3-year wedding anniversary. We're going to spend a long weekend in Dublin, Ireland, doing some sightseeing, rest, relaxation and finding out what a real Guinness tastes like.

Return of the Swarm

A smaller swarm of bees appeared suddenly this afternoon. They flew around our office window again and then started congregating around the same vent as the first swarm. This time, no one called an exterminator, so I think they successfully moved in.

Not UFOs

The lights in the sky weren't UFOs, but the doings of some students from the Arts Institute at Bournemouth (where I work!). They were "Asian-style sky lanterns" left-over from the Fire Festival (put on by some Arts & Events Management students from AIB) earlier this month. Oh well, we'll just have to keep waiting for actual "contact". Lanterns or not, it was a bit nifty how they seemed to move with a purpose and sit in formation.

Swarm, swarm!

Today our apartment building got swarmed by bees. All of a sudden, there were thousands of them flying around. The above video was shot from the window in our spare bedroom. And the below picture is where they settled after a while. According to the news, there were about 20,000+ bees swarming the Bournemouth pier. Most of them were collected by a beekeeper and taken to an apiary. These bees must have been some that had gotten away. Or perhaps just another hive on the move. The news report said they weren't dangerous, they were just looking for a new place to live.

Unfortunately, someone in our building called an exterminator. When I got home from work, there were dead bees everywhere. Bees are protected in England. It's illegal to exterminate them. There's a bee shortage here, too. We found a dead bee on our carpet. I picked it up and discovered that one leg was twitching and its "tongue" was sticking out. Sad.

---

On a different note... we were supposedly visited by aliens last night. We totally missed this, but I read about it in the local paper today. There were orange lights flying around in some kind of formation last night. The newspaper is asking for people who saw it to contact them. Guess we better keep an eye on the locals... make sure there's not one of these Invasion of the Body Snatchers things going on! Or perhaps they have something in connection with THESE.

Britain in 2007

Britain obsessed with fame, addicted to junk food: Lonely Planet guide

AFP - 2 hours 24 minutes ago

LONDON (AFP) - Britons are obsessed with celebrity and addicted to junk food and ready meals, a new travel guide said as it shed a sometimes unflattering light on the country.

The Lonely Planet guide noted that more people vote in television talent shows than in elections, saying this was "a symptom of Britain's ever-growing obsession with fame and celebrity."

Britons are fascinated with famous people "even though their 'celebrity' status is based on little more than the ability to sing a jolly tune, look good in tight trousers or kick a ball in the right direction," it noted.

Like many foreign observers, the guide noted Britain's particular problem with alcohol. "Vandalism and nuisance behaviour caused by binge drinking remain serious problems," it said.

On the food front, the guide asserted that Britons eat more junk food and ready meals than all other European countries put together.

All was not lost in gastronomic terms, however. "Without doubt you can find great food in Britain. It's just that not all the Brits seem to like eating it," the book said.

And there are some other good points, including Britain's multiculturalism, which has tempered some traditional stereotypes.

"Brits are just as likely to tuck into a chicken madras as a Sunday roast, or to check out the Notting Hill Carnival rather than Trooping the Colour," said co-ordinating author David Else.

"Everyone can find something which suits them," he said, also hailing how Britons' exposure "to different religions, festivals, music and food allows Brits to experience so many other cultures without even leaving the country."

"We need to revel in this diversity as this is the future of Britain," he said.

Stick A Ribbon on Your S.U.V.

Very, very funny and very, very right-on! But beware, there be profanity in there...

Click Here To Laugh

The American Way

The American way George Saunders
Saturday May 19, 2007

Guardian

Readers of this column may suspect that I am one of those anti-America Americans. I'm not. I love my country, and feel there is much the British could learn from us Americans, namely me. For example, you could learn about the American ethic called Positive Thinking. When I was in your country last year, for the first time ever, I learned a lot about the British. The main thing I learned is that you people do not understand the concept of Positive Thinking. You're always intelligently discussing and considering and pondering and all of that, wasting valuable Action Time. Allow me to instruct you.

Say someone drives a steel spike through your head. Granted: a bad break. But why whine about it? All the screaming and weeping in the world is not going to cause that spike to work its way out. Why not say something positive, like, "Thanks so much for placing that super decorative accoutrement into my cranial region!" The spike is still through your head, but you're not depressing the people around you.

Or say someone steals your parking spot. What an American will do is respond positively, by cheerfully muttering, "Look on the bright side, maybe an hour from now a piano will plummet from that skyscraper and destroy that car from on high."

Or say someone, as a joke, for your birthday, uses a samurai sword to sever your torso from your lower half. What a positive approach to smile and exclaim, "I'm betting there are plenty of things in this universe that hurt a lot more!" Then get yourself stitched up and carry on with your day. There are good deeds to be done, things to be accomplished!

One must smile through adversity. For example, not long ago, I was late for work and trying to get on the subway. This was not altogether easy, because the spike through my head is slightly wider than the width of the train door, and when I turned sideways, the stitches in my waist gave way and my legs fell off.

I was momentarily flummoxed, but then my American brain, from its position on the floor near the snack machine, remembered the all-purpose Positive Thinking mantra. "It's all good!" my mouth exclaimed, as my torso pulled away on the train, waving to me with its foot.

I could see the salutary effect my positive attitude had on my fellow passengers. "It is all good!" they replied as one, except for some foreigner, possibly a Brit, who began to weep at the sight of me, and rather negatively called emergency assistance, bringing everyone down.

At that moment I became aware that something large was hurtling down from on high, headed for my exact position: a grand piano! "Wow," I thought, "it's going to be a super day."

Dogs Are Amazing

It's no wonder dogs are referred to as "man's best friend" when you hear about something like this:

Dog Gets Posthumous Medal for Bravery

How awesome is that? There's clearly a lot more going on in a dog's mind than most people give them credit for. This little Jack Russell saw a problem developing and immediately stepped in to save the day, putting his own life at risk.

I like cats, don't get me wrong, but I don't think they'd do the same. If we were small enough, they'd eat us!

The Concept that's taking viral video by storm

Mentos + Diet Coke = Geyser

Never mind... We're staying public for now

Now that I sent out an invitation to read our newly-privatized blog, we've changed our minds and decided to keep it public and open to anybody. It's my fault. Well, actually it's Google's fault. I should have tested the Blogger.com "Invite" thingy on myself before sending one to you all. You see, it seems Google (who owns Blogger) makes the stipulation that you have to have a Gmail account to log in and read the blog for any longer than a 30-day period. Now, I'm a big fan of Google and Gmail, but we think this is quite lame and completely understand that a lot of you probably wouldn't want to go through the trouble of getting another email address.

So, please ignore that email from Blogger. As before, you will be able to read Project: Expatriated without logging in. Perhaps we'll look into getting a better blog host that doesn't require a specific email address. We'll see.

Anyway, sorry for the confusion!

We're Going Private

We've decided to make our blog "invitation-only" to keep it among friends and family only. This means that you will need to log in to access it. We will make this change on Sunday May 6th. When this happens, I will send "invitations" to everyone we can think of that has been known to read our blog. Please don't feel offended if you get left out, it may just be that the invitation didn't reach you (spam filters), we didn't have a current email address for you, didn't know you read our blog, or simply left you out by mistake. Just send an email to K or me and we will send you an invitation.

What's really going to send us to hell in a handbasket

As much as we're all rattling our sabers about global warming, when you read stories like this --> Honeybee die-off threatens food supply <-- it serves as a reminder of how delicately we are stitched into our ecosystem. Who would have seen something like this coming, for cryin' out loud? It will probably be something like this that wipes out the human race! Not melting ice, rising sea levels, greenhouse gases, cow farts, etc. It will be something as simple as a bee no longer pollinating the flowers that beget the foods that we eat. Call me a cynic if you want, but something tells me that we are at fault for the honeybee die-off just as we are to blame for every other cataclysm facing us. A virus killing off the bees? Yeah, the one and only "virus with shoes": people. You name it... on some level the human "race" is at fault.

Timely

I know I'm not the first one to think of the timeliness of this poem by Yeats, but I've always loved this poem. Religious sub-text aside, the imagery is so great! "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold", "The falcon cannot hear the falconer", "What rough beast slouches towards Bethlehem", etc. with all the crap going on in the world right now, it seems particularly apt.

THE SECOND COMING

by: W. B. Yeats (1865-1939)

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in the sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Animal Musician

They're here!

From Oregon trip

Planes, Trains & Automobiles

Or more aptly… Automobiles, Light-Rails, Shuttles, Planes, & Buses.

Our journey from Baker City to London has been undertaken with an array of vehicles and has taken us over two days to complete. We drove for about 5 hours from Baker City to Portland on Friday. Checked into our Super 8 Motel near the airport and then returned our rental car to Thrifty down the block, after which we hopped back on the shuttle so we could take the Portland MAX light-rail from the airport to go into town to meet K’s sister for dinner. It was too short a visit, but we had a nice time and had some fantastic Thai food at Typhoon (highly recommended!), but back to the travel story. We took MAX back to the airport and waited for a Super 8 shuttle that never arrived. So we got on the Thrifty shuttle under false pretenses, then we walked from Thrifty to our motel to try to get about 5 hours of sleep.

Next “day”, we got up at 4am (West coast time) and took a 5 o’clock shuttle to the airport. Then it was a two-engine prop plane to SeaTac airport (Seattle-Tacoma) followed by a 30-second tram ride to another terminal where we boarded a “big plane” to Boston (a 5-hour journey). When we arrived in Boston, we disembarked in a domestic terminal which had no direct connection to the international terminal, so we had to exit and take a Logan airport shuttle. After sitting around for a few hours (and having piss-poor salads at Houlihan’s), we boarded the flight to London. A fairly smooth flight with a few hair-raising encounters with abrupt turbulence over London. We arrived near terminal 4 and were herded into shuttle buses to take us to the gate...

...but it seems as soon as we got to England, things went to shit.

There was a little over an hour to catch our National Express coach to Bournemouth, we just needed to get our luggage. We waited for an hour, watching the conveyor belts extrude bags painfully slowly in a piece-meal fashion. Ours never arrived – most probably due to negligence since it was all four bags missing and I know they made it to Boston because I happened to glance out the window and see a couple of them coming out on the conveyor. So we had to go through the rigmarole of reporting our missing bags, during which we missed our coach to Bournemouth. We tried for it anyway, just in case the coach was late, but forgot that we had to take a subway train to the main terminal where the bus station is and then walk about a mile in underground passageways before reaching our destination. The bus had long gone, so we had our ticket changed to another bus leaving an hour later.

It was a tough two hours on that bus, spent wishing that time would speed up just for a little while. I kept nodding off and then get startled awake everytime the bus hit a bump and thinking I was in an airplane that just landed on the runway. But we're home now. A couple of our plants on the balcony are dead. It must not have rained at all while we were gone. Oh, and there's a 6-7 foot massive fissure in one of our bedroom walls. Was there an earthquake while we were gone? Surely not in Bournemouth!

We watered everything and opened some windows to air the place out and then headed to the supermarket to get some basic provisions (plus bathroom essentials for K, since everything was in the suitcases). Now we've taken showers with our ridiculous water pressure and are looking for things to keep us busy and awake until it's at least dark.

The lukewarm welcome from England aside, the weather is absolutely gorgeous today! Just perfect!

Our Penultimate Day in Oregon

We've been having a great time in Oregon, but we're coming up to our last day. It's been an eventful trip so far and we're not quite ready to go back to England. Since it is now a bit late to do a play-by-play of our trip, here are some various events that have taken place since we flew out of Boston:

*Spent the 8th through 13th in the Willamette Valley, most of the time in Eugene, but we did meet up with K's sister at a McMenamin's near the Portland airport after we picked up our rental car. We stayed at K's grandmother's house during our time in Eugene. Went out to eat frequently with various sections of K's family.

*K's grandmother let us move all of our stuff out of our storage room in Hubbard and into her garage in Eugene. We rented a van and did the move in one day. It was great to visit our stuff, but seeing my massive collection of homebrewing equipment made me REALLY miss brewing!

*We spent two days with K's dad and step-mom. And also had lunch with her grandmother (on her dad's side) at Papa's Pizza along with her dad and grandmother-on-her-mother's-side. [It so much easier in Danish or Swedish: Farmor (FatherMother) = grandmother-on-dad's-side and Mormor (MotherMother) = grandmother-on-mom's side and then there's Farfar (FatherFather) and Morfar (MotherFather)]. Got it?

*Wednesday last week, we got a great deal on a massage at K's step-mom's salon: two sessions for the price of one. So K and I both had a fabulous full-body massage (my first professional massage ever). I can see why people don't mind shelling out $50 or so for something like that. If you're ever near Coburg, OR, be sure to pop in to Coburg Hair Studio for a massage from Laurie!

*On Friday the 13th, we left Eugene at about 10am to drive to Baker City with a stop-over in Sisters to have lunch at Black Butte Ranch with K's aunt (on her mother's side). After that, we drove to her ranch to see her new flock (gaggle? herd?) of alpacas. They are somethin' else! I've seen them singly, but never in a herd of 30. They group together like birds and seem just as skittish as birds.

*The drive out to Baker City was gorgeous! Just the perfect American open road with drastically changing scenery. We were virtually the only ones on the road, sort of surreal. We spotted a couple of trees with hundreds of shoes hanging in them. Lots of cows and horses. But my favorite animal sighting was an American Bald Eagle circling down out of the clouds to land in a tree by a lake. Beautiful.

*We got to Baker City around 7:15 on the 13th and after a tour of J-Mom and J-Dad's house, we sat down for a home-cooked meal.

*Since then, we've been partaking in Baker City life: going to some of their great, little independent shops (like Mad Matilda's and Bella's); driving around to look at houses; having lunch and/or dinner at some of their fine eating establishments; and so on. On Saturday, we had dinner at Haines Steakhouse, a classic American restaurant with kitchy decor and servers dressed like they were about to head to the rodeo. Other than that, we've been doing quite a bit of relaxing (much needed relaxation!).

*Went to the Geiser Grand Hotel for the Baker City Rotary Club lunch meeting with J-Dad last Monday, which was a great "small town" experience. Sat next to the town's chiropractor. The meeting was regarding the upcoming Hell's Canyon Motorcycle Rally which rolls into town in June. The Rotary Club will be acting as Baker City's hospitality department.

*On Tuesday, I ended up being invited to the local homebrewing club's monthly meeting. They're called "Good Libations". The meeting was held at one of the members' house, a state trooper who specializes in catching poachers. He also happens to brew some great beer! There were 5 of us at the meeting. We talked about how to clarify beer using finings, then tasted some homebrews that people had brought along (I even brought some of mine which I had rescued from the storage room), and then did a tasting of six or seven different West Coast stouts. Oh, and we voted on who's homebrew was the best. My barleywine won! So they had me select a prize from the prize box.

*On Wednesday, we drove up to La Grande to see the Eastern Oregon University campus and then took the scenic route home, stopping in Union to have lunch at the Union Hotel Fireside Cafe.

*I've been drinking a lot of American craftbrews, particularly beers from the Northwest. K has been accommodating enough to go to restaurants that serve good beer, so I've been quaffing some great suds and reviewing a few of them on BeerAdvocate. Tonight we're going to Barley Brown's, Baker City's only brewpub, to have dinner.

*Today is a take-her-easy/last minute tasks day. We have to pack because we're heading out tomorrow. Our flight is at 7am on Saturday morning, so we're driving to Portland (5-6 hours away) in the morning, checking in to a hotel, returning the rental car, and taking the Max into Portland to have dinner with K's sister. Then comes one hell of a return journey:

7am - Portland to Seattle
8.45am - Seattle to Boston (arriving at 5:30pm)
9:30pm - Boston to London Heathrow (arriving at 8:35am on Sunday)
10:45am - National Express bus to Bournemouth (2 hours)

Needless to say, we will be thoroughly jet-lagged. And I have to work the next day!

[Click on the title of this post to go to our picture gallery featuring pics of this trip]

Can you spot the ghost in this picture?

From Oregon trip

New Pictures

of us. See the column on the right about halfway down.
Click on 'Pictures of Us!'

~K

PCA/ACA Conference 2007

Organizer: Popular Culture Association & American Culture Association
Location: Copley Marriott, Boston, MA
Date: April 4 - 7, 2007

Panels attended:

030 Film Adaptation II: Pop Cultural/Film Adaptation, April 4, 2:30-4:00pm
-Wes Anderson vs. JD Salinger in Film Adaptation
-The Coen Brothers
-The Da Vinci Code: Novel into Film: New Popular Gospel
-Twenty Pages Left and Can't Wait: The Young Adult Novel as Adaptation

087 Conspiracy Theories & Claims for the Paranormal I: Representations of the Paranormal & the Pseudoscience, April 5, 8:00-9:30am
-The Trappings of Science: CSI and Ghost Hunters
-Stranger than Fiction: Photographic Representations of Haunted Houses
-An Anarchist's Miracle: The Anti-Empirical Aesthetics of Conspiracies and the Paranormal

214 Professional Placement II: Thou Shalt NOT - Tips on Successful Presentations, April 5, 12:30-2:00pm
-Presentations & Panel discussion

324 Film & History IV: USA - Contemporary Perspectives, April 5, 6:30-8:00pm
-ABC's Path to 9/11 and the American Monomyth
-Cellular Phones and the New Narrative Immediacy

443 Libraries, Archives, & Popular Culture Research I: Popular Images of Libraries & Librarians, April 6, 10:00-11:30pm
-Hipster Librarians: The Changing Portrayal of Librarians in Popular Culture
-Hidden & Forbidden: Fear and Trembling in the Archives
-Demise and Salvation in a Culture of Fear: An Analysis of the Role of the Library in the Motion Picture Se7en

489 Libraries, Archives, & Popular Culture Research II: Wikipedia & YouTube, April 6, 12:30-2:00pm
-Reference Librarians and Wikipedia
-Wikipedia: The Collective Wisdom of Individual Ignorance
-Is YouTube an Archive, Library, Both, Or None of the Above? (my presentation)
-Internet Memes, YouTube, and Guerilla Library Video

620 Journalism & Media Culture I, April 6, 6:30-8:00pm
-Deconstructing "Post-9/11" Television Drama: The Evolution of Meaning (K's presentation)
-Breaking News: A Comparison of the Television Coverage of the Kennedy Assassination and 9/11 Terrorist Attacks
-Scandal, Then and Now: 18th-Century Britain and 21st-Century America
-Beyond Infotainment: From South Park to Citizenship in the Age of Pop Politics

635 Medieval Popular Culture IV: Special Session: Sword Fighting, April 6, 8:15-9:45pm
-"More Pursuit than study...": Fencing Masters and The Princess Bride
-Viking-Age Combat: Contrasting Hollywood with Historical Techniques

678 Libraries, Archives, & Popular Culture Research III: Community & Aesthetics, April 7, 8:00-9:30am
-The Mysterious Books: Books as Objects of Obsessions & Passion @ Your Library
-The Archivist and Connoisseurship
-The Library as "Third Place" in Academe: Fulfilling a Need for Community in the Digital Age
-Archiving the Collection: The Aesthetics of Space and Public Cultural Collections in the Photography of Candida Hoefer

690 The World Wars in Popular Culture IV: Iconic Images of World War II Revisited, April 7, 10:00-11:30am
-Negroes' Number-One Hero: Doris Miller and Pearl Harbor in American Cultural Memory
-Wonder Women Fetishes and Fantasies: The Image of the Patriotic Female during World War II
-Post-Vietnam Influence on Re-Telling the Experiences of the "Good War"
-On the Front Li(n)es: The World War II Disney Propaganda Cartoons from a Post-9/11 Perspective

699 Eros, Pornography, & Popular Culture II, April 7, 10:00-11:30am
-Gestures, Forms, and Shadows of Sex: Pornography as Myth
-The Rhetoric of Self in Porn Queen Narratives
-Porn Star(ter): Sex, Sympathy, and Success in Jenna Jameson's E! True Hollywood Story
-Do You Wish to Direct Me?: Lynda Benglis' Video Art

738 Ecology & Culture III, April 7, 12:30-2:00pm
-Radiation as a Cultural Talisman in Cold War Popular Culture
-Giving Voice to the Voiceless: A Journalist Writes Environmental Novels
-The PushMePullYou Effect: Attraction and Fear of Wild Animals in U.S. Culture
-Saving the Boys: Ernest Thompson Seton's Wild Animal Stories

756 Science Fiction & Fantasy XXV: Doctor Who III: Just Who IS This Guy, Anyway? Part II, April 7, 12:30-2:00pm
-Changing Tracks Without Derailing: The Difficulties Associated with Regenerating the Doctor
-Bringing the Doctor into the Human Race: Doctor Who's Ambiguous Hero

Comments:
All in all, it was a great conference. We had a fantastic time. Good ol' nerdy fun. This was the first academic conference I've ever been to and my first presentation. From what we heard from everyone, the ACA/PCA conference is the most fun, laid-back academic conference. Many of the others tend to be a bit dry, stuffy and challenging (if you're presenting). And this one is so huge with so many different subject areas and panels. Both of us had successful presentations and a really good experience so we will definitely submit papers for next years conference which takes place in San Francisco. Plus, there's a Paper Sales table at the Book Exhibit Room where they sell copies of some of the papers presented for a $1 a piece. Any presenter who feels compelled, can donate 25 copies to the table. The proceeds go towards the Endowment fund to help people travel to the conference. The last time I checked, there were only 4 copies left of the 25 I donated, so that's cool.