Friday, February 27

Snow Day

My alarm went off at 6:20 am as it had done every day this entire week. I dragged myself out of bed to quickly get ready for work so I could catch my 7:12 bus to the airport. When I stepped outside, I stepped into a blanket of snow and was immediately dusted with more of it blowing down at me from the sky. It was a fine, crystalline snow - not big flakes - so it must have been quite cold. I was wearing my thick corduroy jacket and a fuzzy hat. The cold didn't bother me, but the snow stuck to me like white on rice. I trudged and crunched my way to the bus stop; a 5-10 minute walk depending on my mood.

Not a lot of cars out on the roads at this point because it was not only early, but the streets were almost inhospitable for driving. Luckily enough, my bus came despite it all. So, I settled into my seat and cracked open the book I've been utterly enthralled in over the past week ("Prey" by Michael Crichton). There was only one other passenger on the bus besides me. I wasn't really paying attention to the snow because I had my nose buried in the book. Suddenly, there was some loud chatter (in French) over the driver's radio. Then he pulled over to the side of the road, plowing into the curb as he did so (couldn't see where the road ended and the sidewalk began). He got out of his seat and told us the busses are stopping because of the snow. He asked me if I was going to the airport (the last stop of the line) and I told him that I was. He apologized and suggested that I take a taxi.

That's how I found myself back out in the blizzard, getting quickly re-dusted with the white stuff. Unfortunately, we were outside the city in one of the surrounding residential areas. No other public transportation available besides the parked busses. There weren't any taxis driving by either and I didn't have a cell-phone to call one. I stood there for a few minutes, hoping that a taxi would drive by. No such luck.

The blizzard was really starting to pick up by now. I decided to keep walking along the road that the bus should have been driving. That way I could get back on if they started running again and I would also be able to flag a taxi if one ever came by. Walking to work from there was not an option. At this point, I think I said to myself, "This is not the way to start your day."

After walking along this road for 10-15 minutes, I saw the main road, Leopold Laan. This road shot pretty much directly into the airport (5-8 miles from where I was) and I was my best chance for catching a taxi. I had given up on the busses by this point. Along the main road, there was a service road separated by a median. I walked along the service road, being blown quite vigorously from behind by the blizzard. Every time a new flock of cars came slowly driving by, I ran over to the median and tried to find a taxi.

This continued for about half an hour. I only saw one or two taxis and they were occupied. I began to despise everyone in a car that drove by without stopping to ask if I needed a lift. It was not reasonable to think that anyone would stop and I knew that, but you have to hope! To add insult to injury, a bus 12 drove by me, filled with passengers! It was not the one I had been on, so it must have been a later one that decided to risk it and keep going. I hated every single person on that bus!

Having walked about a mile or two (felt like 10), I ended up at NATO. There is a bus stop for my bus here and lots of car traffic, so I decided to take shelter there. It was now 8:00am and my shift was starting. My bus was scheduled to stop there at 8:08, so I thought I'd see if one came. From my vantage point, I'd also be able to see taxis.

No bus came, but I finally did see a taxi that was dropping someone off at NATO. I quickly took the chance. The driver seemed a little reluctant to let this snow-covered yetti into his nice Mercedes at first. He didn't quite know where the Da Vinci Corporate Village was, but in simple English and broken French, I managed to describe where it is located. Even in a tank-like Mercedes, it was not easy to get to the office building. But 16.75 euros later, I was on the door step of Bo-ny Europe's headquarters. The taxi driver said he was going home because it was too difficult to drive in the snow.

I sat down at my desk at 8:40am. After all I had gone through to get there, it was amazing that I was only 40 minutes late! There were only four or five other analysts there. My team ended up holding our ground until reinforcements started to trickle in. There weren't a lot of English or Swedish calls, but the Italian, French, and Dutch lines were suffering. Some people never came in and others were 3-4 hours late. By mid-day, my pants and socks were finally dry. Those of us who came in for the early shift were asked to stay and help out the middle shift in exchange for being able to come in late or leave early one day next week. I didn't mind doing it because it was a fairly quiet day call-wise and the vibe in the call-center was kind of fun. Everyone was acting a bit zany, like kids on Snow Day.

Despite the complications, it wasn't such a bad day!

-RP-

Thursday, February 19

Reporting from the front lines of Boni Europe's Customer Service

Now that I've been at Boni for almost four months and have been taking calls since December 1st, I thought it was due time that I give a follow-up report on how things are going.

It will never be easy. Though, I've gotten past my initial terror of taking calls to the point that now it is more of a simple nuisance when the phone rings, it is not a rewarding job. Despite brushing up on my Swedish and Danish, there's not a whole lot of actual "customer service" going on. The calls can be more an exercise in procedures and policy. More designed to push the customer away than actually helping them.

I had a realization about the job this week. I'd say pretty much every CSA (Customer Support Analyst) in the call-center started out trying to do a really good job. Trying to really help the customer with the problem. Then, little by little, that was beaten out of them. The way the "procedures" are set up, it makes it almost impossible to concentrate on quality. There are quotas and performance standards set in place that are incidiously self-policing. They expect every analyst to take at least 32 calls per day (with a ratio of about 25-28 incoming and 4-7 outgoing). The maximum average call duration is supposed to be 8 minutes followed by 3 minutes to "wrap up" after the call. If you take less than 32 calls or your average call duration is over 8 minutes, your "performance" score (a percentage) is penalized. Each analyst is supposed to be at a minimum of 80%. There are four "teams" in the call-center, each with one Senior CSA and one Team Leader. The Team Leader is the head whip-cracker and the Senior CSA is his lieutenant. The four Team Leaders get whipped by the call-center manager which leads them to whip the CSAs. Whenever the wallboards start beeping and flashing red, the Team Leaders get up and start pacing around to see if there is anyone who could be taking a call but currently isn't. Frequently, they will walk around calling out things like, "Four French waiting!" or "12 minutes!" See, they don't want ANYONE to have to wait on hold when they call in. If there are long wait times or high abandon rates (people getting tired of waiting and then hanging up) then the manager catches hell from his superiors which, of course, is why he then rips into the Team Leaders so that they will keep on us. The wallboards start beeping when a call has been waiting for more than 3 minutes. And it will keep beeping until the calls are taken or dropped. So, the pressure that we all get from our side of the phone is much more stressing than what we get from the customer's side.

Anyway, the scoring system that is implimented makes the Team Leaders very competitive with each other. If the team does well, he gets a pat on the back and brownie pointes (or progress towards a raise?). I was "fortunate" enough to be assigned to the most competitive Team Leader. A German taskmaster. He rides his CSAs pretty hard and, consequently, they have the highest percentage scores in the whole call-center. They more than make up for my lagging score. I've been struggling to maintain and/or pass the 80% mark, but I'm still quite a ways off. I had a bad week two weeks ago where my score ended up being 67%. I'm not sure why it was that low. I think I had a few too many long calls which dropped my productivity quite a bit. I've been taking an average of 20-25 calls per day (including outbound calls) which is pretty low by their standards. However, this is not necessarily because I'm slow, it has to do with the market. I take English calls from England, Greece, Portugal, Norway, Finland and Denmark; and Swedish calls from Sweden. The bulk of the calls are from England (a nation which seems to be abundantly well trained to complain) and I get maybe two to three calls from Sweden. People who take French or Dutch calls pretty much never have a break from calls coming in. However, the countries I deal with don't have as high volumes of calls. So there can be a lot of time where I'm not on the phone. During this time, I am doing e-Support cases (tech support submitted on our website) which of course also counts towards our performance score. I think it is something like 3-4 e-Support cases equates to one call. In the beginning, when I was only taking Swedish calls, I had great productivity in e-Support. However, now that I am taking calls from these other countries, my e-Support has really suffered. The frustrating thing is that I am ALWAYS working. I pretty much never take a break. Even so, I have plateaued at my average to below average score. This, of course, frustrates my Team Leader who is trying to find out how he can increase my output. I know how to do that... dramatically decrease the quality (i.e.- only focus on keeping the calls ridiculously short and taking as many as possible). Being a person who takes pride in my work, that's a bit hard for me to do. Hence, the analogy to being "broken" and turned into an automaton.

My Team Leader puts together a slide-show for every week which charts each of his CSAs activity. If you really want to be confused, you should see the progress report from my "bad week". You can clearly see that I need to increase my productivity so I'm more in line with the rest of the team. However, it's easier said than done. We are also evaluated for our quality. This is done by two guys who listen in to our calls randomly and then score it according to some set of rules. They then send these scoresheets to the team leaders. I tend to do pretty well on these, except for certain instances when I make some tiny slip-up on "procedure". All of the CSAs hate these forms and the scoring system involved. For example, you get severely penalized if you don't mention the web-site name at the end of a call. Depending on the situation, you can sound like a real idiot by asking the customer to have a look at our web-site (for example, if their computer is currently on the fritz). Anyway, it seems like you are damned if you do, damned if you don't. To keep your quality score high, you have to focus on quality. To keep your productivity score high, you have to focus on quantity. One is at the expense of the other!

Two weeks ago, I asked for a raise. I had a meeting with the head of Human Resources. I told her I didn't feel like my effort was being fairly rewarded. Since there are only two people left taking Swedish calls (two out of the four have already quit), she was not very happy to hear this. Especially since there is nothing she can do about it. The pay structure is very strict and based on evaluations. She explained why she couldn't give me a raise and what I would have to do to even be considered for it. In March I can ask for an "assessment" where they will rate several different elements of my work there. If they are all over 80%, then I MIGHT be able to get a raise to the next pay level which equates to maybe 100 euros more per month. Needless to say, I'm working my ass off to try to be ready for next month....

and more than ready to start on my Masters!

-RP-

Thursday, February 12

Only A Question

Monday morning at 7:15am I was standing on the corner, with extra wardrobe and the cooker cradled in my arms, waiting for my ride to the infomerical shoot and wondering why I agreed to do it. I knew my lines backwards and forwards, but I was nervous! In the middle of these thoughts Elke drove up and we were off to the studio. It took about 45 minutes to get there because there are no direct routes through the city. There is a ring road that goes all the way around Brussels and we had to go to the farthest possible point, plus there was rush hour traffic, but we still made it on time. The studio is located behind a car wash in a row of warehouses with about four parking spots. These spots were filled, of course, so we had to park in the car wash lot and trudge through the mud carrying our cookers and clothes. We walked into the studio and saw a bunch of people working on the set, arranging the cookers on table and scurrying around with electric cables. No one paid any attention to us, so we just stood there holding our cookers, not knowing where to go or what we should do. There were some couches and chairs in a corner with a few people who looked likely to be fellow testimonial givers sitting and talking. Elke and I joined them and we all sat talking and eating croissants for about an hour. There were six of us with lines and recipes and several others who were to be audience members. Eventually a makeup girl came and one by one, we had hair and make up done. We practiced our lines with each other, talked about where we were from and what we were doing in Brussels. It felt like a cocktail party, not a job. The producer came in around 10:30 and announced that one of the recipes had been cut from the infomercial. The cooker company had decided that they wanted one recipe for each function and in the script there was an overlap for 'simmer.' So...no more salmon linguine! My recipe was cut from the show. The producer aplogized profusely and said she would definitely use me in another infomercial if I was willing to to it again and would I stay and be an audience member? I would get the same pay and get to keep my cooker. Well, since I was already there, made up and hair arranged, it seemed silly to leave. I was relieved to not have to say my ridiculous lines, but also a bit frustrated because I spent several hours memorizing them. Oh well, that's showbiz!

We didn't start shooting until almost noon. It took ages for the set to be finished, people placed, lighting perfected and clothes changed. A chef was hurriedly cooking all the food for the testimonials; so, the studio smelled like a diner. Finally everything was ready and just as we rehearsed the first scene, the producer decided the carpet was the wrong color. New orange carpet was brought in and the blue carpet taken out - for the crew to do this, everyone had to leave the set and all the tables and chairs were moved. More waiting. By this point it was a quarter to one and we were all starving, but the director was determined to get at least one scene shot before lunch so we sat, smiled and clapped til 1:45. We had an hour break for lunch (baguette sandwiches and diet Coke) and then it was back to work. During the afternoon the five testimonials were completed and everyone did really well with their lines. There were only a couple retakes for each person and it was usually for the recipe portion. The other recipes were chili, Thai rice, beef casserole, steamed fish and french fries. [The Cooker steams, boils, simmers, makes rice and is a fryer. Very multipurpose!]

By 8:15pm the testimonials were over and it was time for the audience members to ask the host some questions. I had to say, "Mike, how do I know how long to cook something in the Star Cooker?". That was my big line. A few more questions and some audience reaction shots and it was all over. We were released at 9:30 and it was a mass exodus out the door.
We were all super tired. Its funny how sitting and waiting can be so exhausting.

I haven't heard anything yet from the production company about when we might be getting our cookers back, but I hope its soon. I made rice during the week and really missed using it. And we still have to try the fry function and the steam function.

I wonder what the next infomercial will be for...
~K

Sunday, February 8

Five Stars

Back in early December I saw an ad for a production company (Kenovell Studios) that was looking for Americans to appear in infomercials and would pay in cash (no pesky Belgian taxes). How interesting, I thought. Why would a Belgian company be shooting infomercials in English? Well, whatever, I decided to send them an email and ask for more information. They replied and explained that they were branching out into the English-language informercial market and their goal was to make "American-style" infomercials. This seemed reasonable to me (although I can't imagine anyone wanting to make something as horrible as an "American-style" infomercial) so I agreed to come to the studio for a screen test. It took about ten minutes and then I never heard a word from them...until two weeks ago.

I got a phone call asking if I was available to take part in an infomercial that would shoot on February 9. I would just have to give my opinion about the product and it would only take a few hours. Plus I would get to keep the product. That sounded pretty easy and since cash is always good, I said I would do it. That afternoon a courier arrived with the product I was supposed to use and form an opinion of. The box was huge and I wondered what on earth it could be. It was the "Cuiseur Cinq Etoiles," or "Five Star Cooker." It looks like a combination crock pot/bread machine and when its on the kitchen counter there is no room for anything else. I let Kenovell know that the cooker had arrived and they instructed me to make some of the recipes in the instruction booklet so I would be familiar with how it works and they would be in touch with further information about the shoot. Well, the recipes would have been easy but the entire booklet was in French! I had to get out the French dictionary and do some translating before I could figure out what the thing did and how I was supposed to make it work. Over the next ten days we made rice, beef stroganoff and a roast of pork. Its actually a pretty good appliance, especially useful since we don't have a crock pot, rice cooker or roasting pan. By Thursday I felt fairly confident that I could give a positive testimonial about the "Five Star Cooker."

On Friday I got an email with directions to the studio where we would be shooting and my lines. MY LINES?? It was supposed to be natural, honest and unrehearsed testimony - not acting! Well, things changed I guess. I had a scene to memorize as well as a recipe for salmon linguine to prepare on camera. They were a total of six people (four women, two men) on the list who had lines and a recipe , so at least I wouldn't be alone. Rich said he would help me learn my lines, so we spent all afternoon running through the ridiculous scene. I feel pretty confident now that I can get through it without too many retakes.

Monday is the day. We're all supposed to be at the studio by 8:00am, with three changes of clothes and our cookers, for hair and makeup. I am catching a ride with one of the women who also has a testimonial, so at least I don't have to try and figure out the best bus/train/metro route.

Why did I agree to do this???

~K