Friday, September 8

"What Really Makes Our Nation Strong" by Garrison Keillor

Here's another great little piece from Mr. Keillor. He mentions the fall of America. This is something I've been thinking a lot about recently. It's fair to say that America is an Empire. It is the World Empire, the biggest kid (bully?) in the playground. But history has shown us that all empires fall... without fail. Of course, I don't wish that on the US and I hope it's not anytime soon, but you can't deny the possibility because it is not just a possibility, it is a certainty. Anyway... these certainly are interesting times...

---

Published on Thursday, September 7, 2006 by the Baltimore Sun (Maryland)
What Really Makes our Nation Strong
by Garrison Keillor

Growing up in the '50s, we imagined our country defended by guided missiles poised in bunkers, jet fighters on the tarmac and pilots in the ready room prepared to scramble, a colonel with a black briefcase sitting in the hall outside the president's bedroom, but Sept. 11 gave us a clearer picture. We have a vast array of hardware, a multitude of colonels, a lot of bureaucratic confusion, and a nation vulnerable to attack.

The Federal Aviation Administration has now acknowledged that the third of the four planes seized by the 19 men with box cutters had already hit the Pentagon before the FAA finally called there to say there was a problem. The FAA lied to the 9/11 commission about this, then took two years to ascertain the facts - a 51-minute gap in defense - and released the finding on the Friday before Labor Day, an excellent burial site for bad news.

So America is not the secure fortress we grew up imagining. Perhaps it never was. What protects us is what has protected us for 230 years: our magnificent isolation. After the disasters of the 20th century, Europe put nationalism aside and adopted civilization, but we have oceans on either side, so if the president turns out to be a shallow, jingoistic fool with a small, rigid agenda and little knowledge of the world, we expect to survive it somehow. Life goes on.

It's hard for Americans to visualize the collapse of our country. It's as unthinkable as one's own demise. Europeans are different: They've seen disaster, even the British. They know it was a near thing back in 1940. My old Danish mother-in-law remembered the occupation clearly 40 years later and was teary-eyed when she talked about it. Francis Scott Key certainly could envision the demise of the United States in 1814 when he watched the bombardment of Fort McHenry. Abraham Lincoln was haunted by the thought. We are not, apparently, though five years ago we saw a shadow.

We really are one people at heart. We all believe that when thousands of people are trapped in the Superdome without food or water, it is the duty of government, the federal government if necessary, to come to their rescue and to restore them to the civil mean and not abandon them to fate. Right there is the basis of liberalism. Conservatives tried to introduce a new idea - it's your fault if you get caught in a storm - and this idea was rejected by nine out of 10 people once they saw the pictures. The issue is whether we care about people who don't get on television.

Last week, I sat and listened to a roomful of parents talk about their battles with public schools in behalf of their children who suffer from dyslexia, or apraxia, or ADD, or some other disability - sagas of ferocious parental love vs. stonewall bureaucracy in the quest for basic, needful things - and how some of them had uprooted their families and moved to Minnesota so their children could attend better schools. You couldn't tell if those parents were Republicans or Democrats. They simply were prepared to move mountains so their kids could have a chance. So are we all.

And that's the mission of politics: to give our kids as good a chance as we had. They say that liberals have run out of new ideas - it's like saying that Christians have run out of new ideas. Maybe the old doctrine of grace is good enough.

I don't get much hope from Democrats these days, a timid and skittish bunch, slow to learn, unable to sing the hymns and express the steady optimism that is at the heart of the heart of the country. I get no hope at all from Republicans, whose policies seem predicated on the Second Coming occurring in the very near future.

If Jesus does not descend through the clouds to take them directly to paradise, and do it now, they are going to have to answer to the rest of us.

Copyright © 2006, The Baltimore Sun

[source: http://www.commondreams.org/views06/0907-26.htm ]

Thursday, September 7

Going Legit

You are only allowed to drive for one year in the UK with a non-EU driver's license. After that, you're supposed to either stop driving or get a UK license. We've been here for longer than a year, so we're obviously living beyond the bounds of the law. Unfortunately, it's not as simple as just trading my American driver's license for a UK license. I have to go through the same procedure that a new driver has to go through. That is, apply for a provisional license (learner's permit), take a theory test, and then a practical driving test. When you have a provisional license you have to have a Learner sticker on the front and back of your car and any time you drive you have to have someone with you who has had a full license for at least 3 years. You're not allowed to drive at night or on the motorway. Let's just say, we've been flaunting these "provisions" quite brazenly. An L sticker just doesn't look good on a BMW! We don't drive very often and in the event of being pulled over, I will show my US license and play dumb. [In a Texan accent, "Sorry officer? I can't drive over here with this license? I'm terribly sorry. I'll drive right home and park it, officer. Nope, won't happen again. Have a nice day!"

Anyway, I'm in the process of making things right, of going legit with a UK license. I have my provisional license (with the customary horrible photo) and I have booked my theory test for next Thursday at 8:30am. For the past few weeks, I've been reading the Highway Code book and a couple of "Pass Your Theory Test" books. Not doing too bad on the sample questions, though I'm not completely without a worry. You have to get 30 out of 35 questions correct. I should be fine, but historically, I don't test well. Even in subjects that I am fairly knowledgeable about. Aside from the theory questions, there's a section in which you have to watch a bunch of clips to test your hazard perception. I'm fairly confident I can pass that without too much trouble because I've been driving for about 12 years and I'm actually a pretty good driver, if I do say so myself (and I do).

Well, a week from now, I'll either be moving on to my practical test or having to book a re-take of the theory test. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Wednesday, September 6

A Winner

A bit of good news. A few weeks ago The Guardian did a prize draw for The Mavericks DVD Collection box sets. There was a little ad in the Sunday paper. I usually enter contests like this because it's always nice to win something and you can't do that if you don't enter. Anyway, I had forgotten about it. Last week somebody from The Guardian called our house. K was working from home that day. The lady said she just wanted to confirm our address because I had won the prize draw. The DVDs arrived yesterday. Twelve of them! The prize draw wasn't just for ONE of the box sets, but for all four! They're all great films, too:

European Mavericks - "Love Gone Wrong" with:
Together
Vodka Lemon
Dear Wendy

European Mavericks - "Heart of Darkness" with:
Das Experiment
Evil
Pusher

Mavericks - "Driven by a Vision" with:
Overnight
Donnie Darko
Easy Riders, Raging Bulls

Mavericks - "Fight the Power" with:
The Assassination of Richard Nixon
Manic
The Corporation

Woo hoo!!! It pays to enter competitions! This is the second DVD(s) I've won this summer. A couple of months ago, I won The Green Butchers DVD from Fortean Times [look at the bottom of this page]. There was no telephone call about that one. It just arrived one day in a padded envelope with no explanation. Took me a while to figure out how I had ended up getting that one.

Monday, September 4

What!?!

Steve Irwin was killed...













...by a stingray!

I'm a bit bummed by this. I always liked that guy. Watched his show a lot when it first came out. I felt like he was a bit protected against getting killed by an animal because he had built up so much good karma from helping animals in so many ways, but I guess it wasn't foolproof. Still, a stingray barb to the heart... shit.

Mr. Crocodile Hunter, you will be missed.

Friday, September 1

"A Plan to Save the Country" by Garrison Keillor

---Copied and pasted from Common Dreams Newscenter. ---


It's the best part of summer, the long, lovely passage into fall. A procession of lazy, golden days that my sandy-haired, gap-toothed little girl has been painting, small abstract masterpieces in tempera and crayon and glitter, reminiscent of Franz Kline or Willem de Kooning (his early glitter period). She put a sign out front, "Art for Sale," and charged 25 cents per painting. Cheap at the price.

A teacher gave her this freedom to sit un-self-consciously and put paint on paper. A gentle, 6-foot-8 guy named Matt who taught art at her preschool. Her swimming teachers gave her freedom from fear of water. So much that has made this summer a pleasure for her I trace to specific teachers, and so it's painful to hear about public education sinking all around us.

A high school math class of 42! Everybody knows you can't teach math to 42 kids at once. The classroom smells bad because the custodial staff has been cut back. The teacher must whip his pupils into shape to pass the federal No Child Left Untested program. This is insanity, the legacy of Republicans and their tax-cutting and their hostility to secular institutions.

Last spring, I taught a college writing course and had the privilege of hanging out with people in their early 20s, an inspirational experience in return for which I tried to harass them about spelling and grammar and structure. My interest in being 21 again is less than my interest in having a frontal lobotomy, but the wit and passion and good-heartedness of these kids, which they try to conceal under their exquisite cool, are the hope of this country. You have to advocate for young people, or else what are we here for?

I keep running into retirees in their mid-50s, free to collect seashells and write bad poetry and shoot video of the Grand Canyon, and goody for them, but they're not the future. My college kids are graduating with a 20-pound ball of debt chained to their ankles. That's not right, and you know it.

This country is squashing its young. We're sending them to die in a war we don't believe in anymore. We're cheating them so we can offer tax relief to the rich. And we're stealing from them so that old gaffers like me, who want to live forever, can go in for an MRI if we have a headache.

A society that pays for MRIs for headaches and can't pay teachers a decent wage has made a dreadful choice. But health care costs are ballooning, eating away at the economy. The boomers are getting to an age where their knees need replacing and their hearts need a quadruple bypass - which they feel entitled to - but our children aren't entitled to a damn thing. Any goombah with a Ph.D. in education can strip away French and German, music and art, dumb down the social sciences, offer Britney Spears instead of Shakespeare, and there is nothing the kid can do except hang out in the library, which is being cut back too.

This week, we mark the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina and the Current Occupant's line, "You're doing a heckuva job," which already is in common usage, a joke, a euphemism for utter ineptitude. It's sure to wind up in Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, a summation of his occupancy.

Annual interest on the national debt now exceeds all government welfare programs combined. We'll be in Iraq for years to come. Hard choices need to be made, and given the situation we're in, I think we must bite the bullet and say no more health care for card-carrying Republicans. It just doesn't make sense to invest in longevity for people who don't believe in the future. Let them try faith-based medicine, let them pray for their arteries to be reamed and their hips to be restored, and leave science to the rest of us.

Cutting out health care to one-third of the population - the folks with Bush-Cheney bumper stickers, who still believe the man is doing a heckuva job - will save enough money to pay off the national debt, not a bad legacy for Republicans. As Scrooge said, let them die and reduce the surplus population. In return, we can offer them a reduction in the estate tax. All in favor, blow your nose.

Garrison Keillor's "A Prairie Home Companion" can be heard Saturday nights on public radio stations across the country.

Copyright © 2006, The Baltimore Sun

Published on Thursday, August 31, 2006 by the Baltimore Sun (Maryland)