Five Stars

Back in early December I saw an ad for a production company (Kenovell Studios) that was looking for Americans to appear in infomercials and would pay in cash (no pesky Belgian taxes). How interesting, I thought. Why would a Belgian company be shooting infomercials in English? Well, whatever, I decided to send them an email and ask for more information. They replied and explained that they were branching out into the English-language informercial market and their goal was to make "American-style" infomercials. This seemed reasonable to me (although I can't imagine anyone wanting to make something as horrible as an "American-style" infomercial) so I agreed to come to the studio for a screen test. It took about ten minutes and then I never heard a word from them...until two weeks ago.

I got a phone call asking if I was available to take part in an infomercial that would shoot on February 9. I would just have to give my opinion about the product and it would only take a few hours. Plus I would get to keep the product. That sounded pretty easy and since cash is always good, I said I would do it. That afternoon a courier arrived with the product I was supposed to use and form an opinion of. The box was huge and I wondered what on earth it could be. It was the "Cuiseur Cinq Etoiles," or "Five Star Cooker." It looks like a combination crock pot/bread machine and when its on the kitchen counter there is no room for anything else. I let Kenovell know that the cooker had arrived and they instructed me to make some of the recipes in the instruction booklet so I would be familiar with how it works and they would be in touch with further information about the shoot. Well, the recipes would have been easy but the entire booklet was in French! I had to get out the French dictionary and do some translating before I could figure out what the thing did and how I was supposed to make it work. Over the next ten days we made rice, beef stroganoff and a roast of pork. Its actually a pretty good appliance, especially useful since we don't have a crock pot, rice cooker or roasting pan. By Thursday I felt fairly confident that I could give a positive testimonial about the "Five Star Cooker."

On Friday I got an email with directions to the studio where we would be shooting and my lines. MY LINES?? It was supposed to be natural, honest and unrehearsed testimony - not acting! Well, things changed I guess. I had a scene to memorize as well as a recipe for salmon linguine to prepare on camera. They were a total of six people (four women, two men) on the list who had lines and a recipe , so at least I wouldn't be alone. Rich said he would help me learn my lines, so we spent all afternoon running through the ridiculous scene. I feel pretty confident now that I can get through it without too many retakes.

Monday is the day. We're all supposed to be at the studio by 8:00am, with three changes of clothes and our cookers, for hair and makeup. I am catching a ride with one of the women who also has a testimonial, so at least I don't have to try and figure out the best bus/train/metro route.

Why did I agree to do this???

~K